In my dream, i was alone at home, the weather was neithersunny nor cloudy.[這兩句話沒啥聯繫，就用句號吧 B
ut i met【meet 印象里應該是對人吧？ "encountered" perhaps?】 something horrible, when i went out of theportal, i find the stairway【不需要get】 very dark, can't see anything inside 【？你不是走到外面么？看你自己家很嚇人？】,iam so afraid, turned around and run back home.i somehow run so slow [so slow & slowly 都是adverb 用一個就好】, asif someone have strong magic pull me, much delay with my huge fear [?沒看懂],finallyi struggle to dash into my balcony 【你撞上了？】, then i jump over balcony,falltowards 【toward？】 the floor. however, i am still pulled by the horrible magic, istruggle to whirl my body and shake off dark power. i fall on the floorfrom 5 storied [這個要拼出來 "five-story"]apartment, Bang! i wake up with a cry and find myselfbathed in sweat......
[ 本帖最后由 4everluv 于 2009-7-29 19:53 编辑 ]作者: 柯佩奈叶子 时间: 2009-7-30 12:46
Frankly, the same nightmare have happened in my sleeprepeatedly, almost it[貌似应该it almost ?] occupied my all[all my?] life, [这里是不是应该也要句号] i[ I 大写是必要的.无论是不是在句首] don't clear why this kindof my nightmare[也许可以用things或者其他词改一下?] never got [应该是gets吧 why引导的从句]ride of, but i can make a opinion[opinion好像用在这里不是很合适..另,要是用前面也要用an] certainly,maybe the dark thing is my gloomy mentation, not serious[seriously], i look like ahealthy and good manner gentleman,[这里可以句号一下] however, too many rules and complexmanner,so[so是比较口语的词 也许可以用that makes 一个从句] i lose some friends, [句号] there are differences in background andhabit of people, else we [would] dislike each other,[句号] i can't bear the foolishand selfish deed of some people, i don't have strong power to changethem or the fact, [and] the dark and horrible magic is my desired powerabsolutely.
.GIF)
.GIF)