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洝瀞、 发表于 2013-5-28 06:44
高端洋气上档次-_-
高三英语水平表示看明白了,但是对那么多逗号感到很捉急。。一定是我水平不够_(:з」∠) ...
1.英文叙事请全部用一般过去式。
2.就算是不用一般过去式,用一般现在时,也请先把时态搞对:应为"she hardly felt"或者至少"she hardly feels"。而后面LZ又用回了knew……写完之后请先检查一下最基本的语法。
3.Yes, a lovely place, interstingly, many years ago, 这句是Run-On sentence。应将a lovely place后加上句号。
4.many years ago, she was obliged to give up her application to go to the medical school to become a doctor, or a surgent , being ready to save lives-she went to Japan, an oriental nation, her father's hometown and eventually changed into a cold-hearted murder. “许多年前,她的良心驱使她放弃了大学申请,上了医学校,想要成为一名医生,或者一个外科手术师,准备救死扶伤——她去了日本,一个东方之国,也是她父亲的家乡,然后最终成为了一个冷血的杀手。”
我读完这句之后整个人都不好了……想用英语的复杂句式可以,但是此处看起来是为了语法而语法,导致整个句子语意无比跳脱,看着无比不爽,而且还有可能造成理解错误:是“她放弃了医学校的申请”还是“她放弃了大学的申请,上了医学院”呢?请LZ在耍句式之前先打好叙事的基础吧。
5.There were too much appreciation, without him, there was no chance to destroy the organization, 又是Run-On sentence。正确句子应为:There WAS too much appreciation. Without him, there was no chance to destroy the CABAL, to become a normal girl, or to perceive love, care and forgiveness. 我去掉了冗余的部分,并把最后一句提炼了。
然后我又大概扫了两眼下面……时态错误百出,像上面说到的用复杂句式装逼失败的例子也到处都是,实在懒得改了,请见谅。
至于剧情方面……剧情是什么那是可以吃的东西吗(
(哼萧十别以为我不知道!
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