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金钱 柯币
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发表于 2003-12-8 04:00:34
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回复: [原创]我爱你(暂定名)第一次更新
这世界上真的有上帝吗?如果真有的话,天使从来不会对我笑,一次也没有……
——沙朗 温亚德
2. 邮件
当当当~~~~~
地下室的挂钟敲响了,连续8下。
我端起略微烫手的咖啡,喝了一口,却不能给我那冰冷的身躯带来一丝暖意。
也许因为心是冷的吧?看来我的血还是又黑又冷。就像这杯咖啡,无论加入多少糖,也永远无法改变它苦涩的本质。一个不幸的人无论拥有多少幸福的回忆,仍然不能摆脱命运的折磨。 虽然曾经和Gin拥有美好的时光,虽然曾经遇到工藤,就像一场梦,不愿醒来,醒来后只有无尽的空虚和惆怅……昔日的美好就像一副沉重的枷锁,无法摆脱。回忆就像一张张发黄的照片,令人沉醉其中。越是回忆往日的幸福,就越觉得未来无望……只怕幸福早已离我而去了吧?!沉醉于回忆中就像生活在过去里,如果可以选择,我到愿意忘掉一切,到一个无人知道的地方……
今天是一个特殊的日子,一年了,我最亲爱的姐姐离开我整整一年了……的确,这一年发生了太多的事,姐姐的死,与Gin分手,我的叛逃,与工藤相遇……一年前的今天就是我一生中最重要的转折点,自从姐姐死后,我就开始产生对Gin, 对组织的抵制情绪,这直接影响到我的叛逃。本来以为一切恩恩怨怨都会随着我吞下的那一片APTX4869而消逝,哪知天意弄人……也许上帝还不想让我进天堂吧? 如果这世界上有上帝的话……
这世界上真的有上帝吗?如果真有的话,天使从来不会对我笑,一次也没有……
没错,我的人生就是由一连串的不幸所构成的……刚出生不久,我的父母就应为车祸而丧生……好不容易认识了Gin, 却又因为组织严格的纪律而让两颗冰冷的心永远也得不到阳光的滋润……就连我最爱的姐姐也离我而去,而凶手却是我最不愿承认的Gin……爱上了工藤,却不敢表白,我心知肚明他心里只有那个叫兰的女孩……
今天又收到了一封信……来自Sharon……我知道一切都该结束了……姐姐,也许这是一个很好的机会,也许我们将会在天堂重逢……我甚至不想逃避,经历了太多痛苦的我已经麻木……
打开电脑,一封信邮件!
会是谁的呢? 其实这已不重要……我懒散的打开收件箱……
明美!!
手中的咖啡杯无力地滑落……摔了粉碎……
姐姐……
冰凉的液体盈眶而出……撒落……就像珍珠……
姐姐……
我甚至不知我是怀着怎样的心情打开了那封e-mail……
To my dearest sister,
Hello! I am writing this, knowing it will be several years before you read these words, or may, we will never have a chance to read it. Today, as you probably stay in the lab and have experiments, I know you will never know what’s happening to me if Gin gets this e-mail. That is why I am going to e-mail you like this……you know, I don’t want whoever dangerous to get it……
When Gin first told me that I must rob in the bank, and when I realized that I couldn’t survive after this, I felt devastated. I prayed to God and asked him: “Why me? I have a younger sister who needs me very much. I am the only relative to her.”
But although it sounds incredible, I’ve come to feel a surprising place in my heart. I realize: why not me? I’ve have chance to have a delightful dear sister who loves me more than her life itself, and I am doing this to help her out, so why not me?
I’m confident of life to come after death. I have faith that I will see you again when time is right. I will stay with our parents who leaved us since you were born. Isn’t it exciting?
My sister, you are our parents’ pride. I know you did and will continue doing great things with your life. Don’t ever forget that your parents and also your sister have very high expectations for you, dear girl.
Please take care of yourself, that’s my only wish.
And some day, I honestly hope that you will find a good caring man to marry. Choose carefully! Around you, I don’t ever want to see a man like Gin who makes you cry all the time. Though I know he is driving you crazy…… I hope you can find someone special, a man who will love you and will protect you your entire life through.
I am sorry that I won’t get to see you marry. But I will see you in Heaven, and then you can tell me about every single detail that I’ve missed.
All my love,
Sister
姐姐……
泪想流,却流不出……我早已哭干了眼泪……
姐姐……
这个熟悉而又陌生的称谓似乎近在咫尺,却又远在天涯……
生死是最可怕的障碍,难以逾越……
本来抱着必死的心,想要去那个“鸿门宴”,现在看了姐姐的信才意识到我应该活着……
我应该为姐姐活着!我大声叫到。
不,你应该为自己活着!一个熟悉的声音响起。
抬起头,工藤那看似矮小的身躯出现在地下室入口。 |
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