[原创]<<Angels & Demons >>全英文~~~语法问

浅草

语法问题请同志们尽量鞭策偶~~~%&088 %&088
<<Angels & Demons >>
Angles   --- from heaven

Demons   --- from hell



She was an angel

He was a demon



They met in a beautiful garden, on a dusky red twilight

They changed the places in the troubled times



Then she sank , she was thought being sinister

Then he rised, he was thought being fortunate

They forgot each other  . . .   . . .



On a dusky red twilight

The rain was falling

The hostilities was opened

They met again, in the same place they met the first time  

The garden had ceased to exist ,it was destroyed

They fronted in the battlefield



It reminded they of the past

In the same place they met the first time

They promised to each other they would stay together in future



At that moment

She was crying over the past

He was laughing at himself



At that moment

She laid down the double-edged

He threw the sword



They ran to each other

They hugged each other for the promise



Hostilities between the two sides ceased at midnight

Everyone fell silent



But their love was a taboo

It wasn’t been allowed



On a dusky red twilight

They died together with smiling faces

They didn’t regret



When an angel died

Her soul would still stay in the heaven



When a demon died

His soul would still stay in the hell



But when an angel from hell

Or when a demon from heaven died

Where would then go?

They would become a puff of wind

A puff of free wind flying in the world of mortals



后记：看了DAN BROWN 的新书标题有点感触

她可以是兰，她可以是哀，她可以是和叶

他可以是新一，他可以是平次，他可以是基德

他们是一对相爱的人也好鬼也好神仙也好天使也好魔鬼也好

爱情没有界限，战胜死亡，超越时空，超越鸿蒙… …

On a dusky red twilight, do you still remember me?

兰水晶

看完了……
很有特色哈，用英文写的诗……
喜欢捏……某块水晶爆喜欢英文诗哈……

灰原小小哀

[QUOTE=浅草]她可以是兰，她可以是哀，她可以是和叶

他可以是新一，他可以是平次，他可以是基德[/QUOTE]


包，貌似这对应关系不太对- -|||

PS：你竟然开英格力士？？（就是ENGLISH，某本书的名字是这个，那书我看了个开头，讲乡下小鬼学英文的故事。）~欺负我英文弱是伐？



DAN BROWN 的《天使与恶魔》？
好看吗？
突然联想到：我昨天去书店买了本《天使的愤怒》，不过还没看过。

浅草

貌似这对应关系不太对~~~饿~~~只是看了书名有感饿~~
只要他们相爱就无所谓是谁了~~~阿猫阿狗也无所谓~~
DAN BROWN 的《天使与恶魔》~~~买它干吗~~新民晚报上有连载~~偶妈妈帮偶剪了~~
再说还么达芬奇密码好看~~不值得~~~
省下29.6元可以买很多棒棒糖饿~~~

兰水晶

棒棒糖……
最近好象很流行哈……
咱班每天午饭之后就是人手一根……

浅草

[QUOTE=兰水晶]棒棒糖……
最近好象很流行哈……
咱班每天午饭之后就是人手一根……[/QUOTE]
偶们实习老师带坏偶们的~~~%&197 %&197
上课也在吃~~~~
市西中学的机器人不错~~~

兰水晶

那似乎是高中吧……
不过咱们班有2个，上次到澳门去参加比赛了……

浅草

偶同学在市西搞那个搞的发狂了~~

兰水晶

发狂……
听起来好恐怖哈……

灰原小小哀

…………包~~你在市西有同学？？？？？

浅草

下周预告~~~PART 2~~
LAN 和KUDO的故事~~~
还是全英文的~~~~~正在校改中~~~~尽请期待~~~~~
(搞的像广告一样饿~~~~汗~~)

兰水晶

忆怎么这么惊讶啊？
很奇怪吗？

兰水晶

英文的……
期待哈……
我一定会看DI！

熏香的晚风～

全英文？？？

那楼主的英文一定很好了~~~

有没见佳`进来看看~~

conan5471

[QUOTE=浅草]
Everyone fell silent


[/QUOTE]

应该是Everyone felt silent吧，是这个意思吗？佳不清楚的说

[QUOTE=浅草]
It wasn’t been allowed


[/QUOTE]

It wasn't allowed应该可以吧？



[QUOTE=浅草]
A puff of free wind flying in the world of mortals

[/QUOTE]

A puff of free wind was flying in the world of mortals


以上纯属个人看法，佳也不是很确定的说%&089


文很8错的说，支持下，坑是要填的，不要像某人一样拖文%&103


PS晚风：你怎么知道佳会进来的说，其实佳的英文也不怎么样，一般般的说……

浅草

[QUOTE=conan5471]

应该是Everyone felt silent吧，是这个意思吗？佳不清楚的说



It wasn't allowed应该可以吧？





A puff of free wind was flying in the world of mortals


以上纯属个人看法，佳也不是很确定的说%&089


文很8错的说，支持下，坑是要填的，不要像某人一样拖文%&103


PS晚风：你怎么知道佳会进来的说，其实佳的英文也不怎么样，一般般的说……[/QUOTE]
偶的饿英语也很破~~~Everyone fell silent~
陷入沉默~~~~的意思~~~是酱紫的饿么错~~~ %&176
后面两个就不确定了~~~~~继续鞭策吧
~~~

crescentheights

"It reminded they of the past"

I think it should be  "It remined them of the past". In my opinion, everyone fell into silence probably sounds better.


Well, good job!%&007

杏子

不错不错。。
期待下一篇。。。

浅草

[QUOTE=crescentheights]"It reminded they of the past"

I think it should be  "It remined them of the past". In my opinion, everyone fell into silence probably sounds better.


Well, good job!%&007[/QUOTE]
remined%&222 %&222 什么意思??貌似么这个字的说~~~%&094
everyone fell into silence probably sounds better%&115 %&115 %&115 赞~~压韵了~~~~谢谢~~~为了提高自己的英文水平而努力~~~~~%&037 %&037 %&037 %&037

crescentheights

It reminded they of the past

In the same place they met the first time

They promised to each other they would stay together in future


原句在这呢！ 想起来reminded是意思了吧？ 自己写的诗呀！%&202 而且第3句应该是in the future